To Fall in Love and Find the Heart of Things

Golden Gate BridgeLike every other millennials, this is probably the time in our lives when we somehow feel lost. Lost in the space between where I am now and where I want to be. This begins when you start lying on your bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, and asking endless life questions. What should I do? Is this something that I really want? Where will I end up in the next five years? Week-by-week, day-by-day this episodes of depression attacks more often until it finally consumes you.

Few years back, I wake up expressionless. I do my morning routine with my muscle memory – my body has a mind of its own and it knows what to do every single day. I wake up, take a shower and groom myself, have a health-curated breakfast and leave for work. I know there is no trace of enthusiasm as I drag my feet to work. After few months, there is a vivid look of discontent. After few more weeks, I feel like a boiling pot without knowing where the fire is coming from. Until finally, I express my desire to resign from work.

It is both a relief and a pain. It is a relief from the emotions that I have been keeping and a pain because I jumped the gun and had to figure out where I should go to next. This is the turning point when a wise man says: “You need to fall in love and to find the heart of things.

You need to fall in love and find the heart of things. What in the world does that mean? I experienced being in a relationship so I definitely know what it is like to fall in love – or do I not? I am in pursuit to find meaning to this riddle. There is one thing in my mind that I think I need to unlock this riddle. I need to change.

I jump to another career and have a different lifestyle. I emerge myself to a completely different world. I am more conscious of how I look. I invest on better clothes and go to better hair stylists. I start going out more often and meet new people. I do dates here and there. I spend my nights in parties and go home when the sun is up. My work is not that demanding so I can maintain this lifestyle. I splurge and squander to have fun – Y.O.L.O. so to speak. However, the same episode comes. I feel exhausted. This is not me.

At this point, I learnt from the changes I made but I am still lost in that space. Dismayed, dissatisfied, and discontented. The colorful lifestyle becomes pale and dull. Again, I resign from work. However, this time, it is just relief and no pain. I know, I just need to forge forward. As I brave a new chapter of my life, I started to unearth the meaning of what it is to fall in love and find the heart of things.

To fall in love is to find a motivation that will fuel you endlessly. To find the heart of things is to know the value of every single act that you do no matter how big or small it is.

To fall in love needs to unclutter the life you lived. This means to remove unnecessary mess and thoughts that are blocking your way. Keep it simple and focus on what is most important to you – it can be family, friends, or relationship. This will be the motivation to keep you going. I used to think that being on top is the most important thing in life. That I need to climb up the corporate ladder to find happiness. I was wrong. That can be my life goal but I cannot fall in love with that thought and let it be my motivation. How do I know? I asked myself a simple question: Will I be happy being a CEO even if I do not have a family, a friend or a relationship?

Recognizing the heart of things stirs up passion in your works. It gives you purpose. Know how every single action you do affects other people especially those who are important to you. Aim to channel your action to achieve bigger things and to serve others. Eventually you will see how others value you. If you do everything for your own benefit, what’s your worth to the rest of the seven billion people on Earth?

My experience tells me to do simple things to take oneself out of that lost space: to continuously move forward, to recognize what is truly important, and to honestly serve others.

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1 Comment

  1. Thanks for your honest thoughts. I really appreciate you for writing about a topic or issue based on your personal experience. Sometimes, we just need to surface it out and write about it. Doesn’t it feel good? Especially for many young people nowadays, I think it’s just what we all need to hear. Oftentimes, it’s easy to be excited about getting a job, earning lots of money, succeeding in our careers, etc. but once you reach to a point of success, you’ll realize how unsatisfied you are. You get the highest position in the company, you pursue a higher degree, you make a bunch of money, then what??? You only find yourself wanting more and you will never ever get contented about where you are. I guess that’s just the reality of life: fleeting and temporary. We always long for more only to realize we want more. I’ve been there and done that. Before graduating from college, I was filled with ambitions: go to grad school and get a doctorate degree, have my own business, make lots of money, travel the world, be independent and not rely on other people, buy all the nice things, and maybe get married one day haha. Then I reached some of my goals and still ended up unhappy in some ways. I was also curious about living a different kind of lifestyle only to find out “it’s not me.” Until God broke me and found me again. I went back to Him and realized life apart from Him is useless and pointless. I don’t want to ever go back anymore. So now, I only have one pursuit: to serve and love Him with all my heart and bring Him glory in everything I do.

    You’re right. “To fall in love is to find a motivation that will fuel you endlessly.” In this matter, career, money, material things, and other worldly pursuits won’t fuel us endlessly. Those will only tire us in the long run, like “chasing under the sun.” It’s not worth it. How about finding ourselves getting swept off our feet by the love of our Savior and what He did on the cross in order for us to have eternal life? For me, that’s an endless motivation to live life to the fullest, serve Him, and serve and love others for His glory.

    I hope and pray that no matter where you are in life now, whether you’re in that “lost space,” you’ll be founded in the love of Christ alone. That you’ll fall in love with Him more and more each day and find your purpose in His Word. That you will make Him as “the heart of all things,” putting Him at the center of everything and in every passion you have (May it be on business, yoga, food, travel, etc.) That God will use those depressing and lonely moments to make you know that pursuing Him is the only worthy thing to do in this life.

    Great post , M! I’m looking forward to more! 😉

    -I

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