Like every other millennials, this is probably the time in our lives when we somehow feel lost. Lost in the space between where I am now and where I want to be. This begins when you start lying on your bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, and asking endless life questions. What should I do? Is this something that I really want? Where will I end up in the next five years? Week-by-week, day-by-day this episodes of depression attacks more often until it finally consumes you.
Few years back, I wake up expressionless. I do my morning routine with my muscle memory – my body has a mind of its own and it knows what to do every single day. I wake up, take a shower and groom myself, have a health-curated breakfast and leave for work. I know there is no trace of enthusiasm as I drag my feet to work. After few months, there is a vivid look of discontent. After few more weeks, I feel like a boiling pot without knowing where the fire is coming from. Until finally, I express my desire to resign from work.
It is both a relief and a pain. It is a relief from the emotions that I have been keeping and a pain because I jumped the gun and had to figure out where I should go to next. This is the turning point when a wise man says: “You need to fall in love and to find the heart of things.”
You need to fall in love and find the heart of things. What in the world does that mean? I experienced being in a relationship so I definitely know what it is like to fall in love – or do I not? I am in pursuit to find meaning to this riddle. There is one thing in my mind that I think I need to unlock this riddle. I need to change.
I jump to another career and have a different lifestyle. I emerge myself to a completely different world. I am more conscious of how I look. I invest on better clothes and go to better hair stylists. I start going out more often and meet new people. I do dates here and there. I spend my nights in parties and go home when the sun is up. My work is not that demanding so I can maintain this lifestyle. I splurge and squander to have fun – Y.O.L.O. so to speak. However, the same episode comes. I feel exhausted. This is not me.
At this point, I learnt from the changes I made but I am still lost in that space. Dismayed, dissatisfied, and discontented. The colorful lifestyle becomes pale and dull. Again, I resign from work. However, this time, it is just relief and no pain. I know, I just need to forge forward. As I brave a new chapter of my life, I started to unearth the meaning of what it is to fall in love and find the heart of things.
To fall in love is to find a motivation that will fuel you endlessly. To find the heart of things is to know the value of every single act that you do no matter how big or small it is.
To fall in love needs to unclutter the life you lived. This means to remove unnecessary mess and thoughts that are blocking your way. Keep it simple and focus on what is most important to you – it can be family, friends, or relationship. This will be the motivation to keep you going. I used to think that being on top is the most important thing in life. That I need to climb up the corporate ladder to find happiness. I was wrong. That can be my life goal but I cannot fall in love with that thought and let it be my motivation. How do I know? I asked myself a simple question: Will I be happy being a CEO even if I do not have a family, a friend or a relationship?
Recognizing the heart of things stirs up passion in your works. It gives you purpose. Know how every single action you do affects other people especially those who are important to you. Aim to channel your action to achieve bigger things and to serve others. Eventually you will see how others value you. If you do everything for your own benefit, what’s your worth to the rest of the seven billion people on Earth?
My experience tells me to do simple things to take oneself out of that lost space: to continuously move forward, to recognize what is truly important, and to honestly serve others.